Do you ever get the feeling that life is just speeding past you? I can get a bit wound up; stress that somehow it is passing me by, that I haven’t done enough, traveled enough, become enough. I know this about myself, that I can stress too much, and I try to keep it under control. Enjoy the small things in life, think about what is most important to me and nurture those very things. However, sometimes I completely lose control and panic that Beyonce is only two years older than me and she has done such a lot! Ridiculous, I know. And this is where the boyfriend usually steps in (laughing and shaking his head as he does so) and reminds me that I have no desire to be like Beyonce. And eventually, the panic subsides and I calm down; quite content with me, my life and the goals I want to achieve in the coming years – none of which involve a Grammy or dancing on TV.
So I do get that feeling, the one that I am missing it all. But I also sometimes experience these moments where everything slows down, life is paused and all things stop moving towards their end. Those moments have a brilliant clarity to them and I can remember them for years. They’re like snapshots, etched into my memory. I revert to them when I need to ground myself in this whirlwind of daily life. One of these snapshots I keep coming back to is from two years ago. I sat with my boyfriend on the balcony of our hotel in Nha Trang, Vietnam, and watched a storm rage over the sea. The town lights went out as the storm came closer and the rain came thundering down. We sat there in the almost dark, breathing in the fresher air – almost frothy from the storm – and peace came to me. A feeling that I belong in the world, even so far away from home. I have a natural place in the world and within my circle of family and friends. I am alive and all is as it should be. That is an awesome feeling, as spectacular as the storm.
Do you have a collection of mental snapshots? Or do you maybe not stress like I do…?
Picture from here.